The Emperor’s new vaccine or Why Christmas must be cancelled

Simon Cottee
2 min readNov 30, 2021
Exit pursued by a bear

I just finished watching the Prime Minister give a press conference (I know, serves me right) and I am torn between being impressed by the audacity, scared by the idiocy, and dumbfounded by the incoherence.

We don’t seem to know anything about Omicron, or if the current vaccines have any effect, so the most important thing is to get jabbing. (eh?) We don’t know enough to bring in mask mandates for cinemas and restaurants, but we do know enough to roll out booster shots to everyone at half the previous frequency.

If I need a booster shot after 3 months, does that mean going forward I need 4 boosters a year? And it takes over 3 months at 4million doses a week to boost everyone that needs it. The vaccines and the boosters are still based on Alpha (this may be why they don’t seem to prevent the spread of Delta), and an Omicron vaccine, developed tested and approved at great speed, would likely only be available when the next variant evolves.

The latest government data Vaccine Surveillance report week 47 suggests for adults over 30 double vaccinated are much more likely to test positive than unvaccinated, and for 40–70 year olds, they are TWICE as likely.

So how is more vaccines the answer? Put simply, if the figures were the other way round, the government would be using this as proof the vaccines cut infection by 50%, but because they aren’t the government explains them away. The question is why?

Boris hates to be the fun Police, and does not want to be responsible for cancelling Christmas, but with his complicated family situation, you can see how he might be relieved if Christmas had to be cancelled. As long as it’s not his fault. Enter Dr Jenny “Don’t socialise unless necessary” Harries, laying the groundwork for a cancelled Christmas again. Is any socialising “Necessary”? Only if you are a human being. The Jury is still out on Dr Harries.

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Simon Cottee

Chief procrastinator and aspiring writer, based in the UK. Interests include skiing, wine, data, and the beneficial role of nature in our health. And wine.